I am fond of playing the lyre. In my spare time I like to go luting with friends. I once took a shot at a saxonette, but I think I had one shot too many - upon placing my lips upon it I discovered that it was most certainly not a saxonette.
I express a distaste for the ocarina, as it is nothing new under the xun. Oh man, though, the beast...the dreaded beast of tubax. I'm terrible at that, I gave up; accordion too, my friend Jack...he said I should try bifora, that...I don't really know about that. Don't get me started on the bombarde, though...bombarde this, bombarde that. It's all the French seem to talk about. Oh, and I really can't stand oboes. There's always an oboe da caccia for some pointless reason. Or an oboe d'amore wanting attention.
I can't help but hope that this is as painful to read as it was to write.