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 What if... Microsoft stole Valve's strategy

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Greg

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Number of posts : 137
Registration date : 2009-03-03

PostSubject: What if... Microsoft stole Valve''s strategy   Sat May 16, 2009 9:30 pm

So, I've always been pissed at Microsoft for just being general douchebags, but I've never really hated Valve. I understand that some people hate Valve, so I wrote this.

So, with no further ado, What if Microsoft pretended to be Valve?


  • Mini-releases would be given to purchasers every few months, in between milestones.
  • Raging would ensue on the Microsoft forums. Common responses: "THE NEWEST RELEASE IS UNFAIR TO BUSINESS USERS! THE FAGGOT HOME USERS CAN GO USE FUCKING MACINTOSH!" "THE BUSINESS USERS ARE OVER POWERED! THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE THE LATEST VERSION OF NOTEPAD IF WE CAN'T HAVE IT!" (Believe it or not: Microsoft seriously has forums.)
  • Microsoft would stop giving the people what they want, and instead give them what they think they want.
  • The end of press conferences. Instead Microsoft will convert Windows.com to a blog, posting about every update and future release.
  • People continue to threaten Microsoft, but they soon realize that there is no better alternative. (FUCK YEAH LINUX FTW! ALL IT TAKES IS TEN YEARS OF EXPERIENCE WITH COMPUTER SCIENCES!)
  • Soon, deviantart pages start popping up with Vista fan art/fiction. It is only a mater of time before the relationship between Mac and PC is turned into gay porn.
  • Every virus patch is released "When it's done", as opposed to when it is needed.
  • People found using their computer for illegal purposes get immediately banned from the Internet for life, by Windows Anti Cheat/Hack Kontrol, or (WACHK. The term for getting banned becomes "WACHK OFF".)
  • Steve Ballmer gets a sense of humor.


So, I created this list because I was bored. If you don't like it, go somewhere else. I'll add more as I think of them.
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Damuna

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Number of posts : 181
Age : 88
Location : Britland
Registration date : 2009-02-02

PostSubject: Re: What if... Microsoft stole Valve's strategy   Sun May 17, 2009 12:21 am

Greg wrote:
  • Soon, deviantart pages start popping up with Vista fan art/fiction. It is only a mater of time before the relationship between Mac and PC is turned into gay porn.

Already happened.
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angrywhiteguy

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Number of posts : 543
Age : 28
Location : Shitty town in the state of Washington
Registration date : 2009-01-10

PostSubject: Re: What if... Microsoft stole Valve's strategy   Sun May 17, 2009 8:40 am

Damuna wrote:
Greg wrote:
  • Soon, deviantart pages start popping up with Vista fan art/fiction. It is only a mater of time before the relationship between Mac and PC is turned into gay porn.

Already happened.

Linx plox?
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LegendaryBurrito

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Number of posts : 40
Age : 108
Location : At your nearest Taco Bell
Registration date : 2009-01-10

PostSubject: Re: What if... Microsoft stole Valve's strategy   Sun May 17, 2009 11:14 pm

Bill Gates would be really fat.
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